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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Deal with paperwork quickly. Partnerships may pose a problem at first, but once you figure out who’s doing what, you should find your load is lightened. The common ground between you and whomever you partner with will grow.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Diplomacy coupled with persistence, honesty, and sticking to the facts will bring good results when dealing with colleagues, clients, or peers. An opportunity will develop through someone you have worked with in the past.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): It’s taking action that will bring results. Just because someone else procrastinates doesn’t mean you have to. Get the facts and figures in writing. Don’t let a change someone else makes spoil your plans.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Develop hobbies or activities that will take your mind off your worries. Problems with some of the people you care about will cause you grief if you aren’t willing to overlook shortcomings. Rethink getting in touch with someone from your past.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Being too proud to ask for help will hold you back. Building a support system or a team that you can work alongside will lead to your popularity and success. Don’t take the blame for something you didn’t do or deal with responsibilities that don’t belong to you.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don’t dig up the past unless you are prepared to face the truth. Find out what you need to know before you take on a task that may be too hard to handle on your own. Speak up, be articulate, and ask for what you want.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You can expect to be confused by some of the results you get when dealing with personal matters. Before making a career change, consider your motives — if it’s because of a personality clash, stay put and work it out.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A change at home will benefit you mentally, physically, and financially. Offering a service that you enjoy doing will lead to extra cash. A relationship will change for the best because of the choices you make.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Set some rules if you want things to go your way. You can turn something you have to offer into a cash cow if you are unique in your presentation. There is money heading your way. Let past experience help you now.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Be willing to compromise. Someone will complain if you are too pushy. Sincerity, dedication, and understanding will help. Uncertainty will arise because of a decision you made in the past.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Slow down, watch what you say, and be careful while traveling. Don’t let your emotions lead the way. Focus on following through with promises and making decisions that will lead to a better future.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The choices you make now regarding partnerships, your personal life, and the way you earn your living will determine how much you can accomplish. You will learn a valuable lesson from someone you’ve known a long time. A sudden change should be welcomed.
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Why I’m not allowed to watch the Game Show Network anymore by Andrew Juhl
• “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” (Yes, I believe so. And truthfully, I find your question a little insulting.)
• “Do You Trust Your Wife?” (To enter into a binding marital contract with a woman presumes an underlying and sufficient level of trust, so yes.)
• “How Much is Enough?” (That depends on what you are talking about. When it comes to chocolate, I get sick after about eight ounces.)
• “How’s Your Mother-in-Law?” (Aside from some hip trouble, she’s doing quite well. Thank you for asking. And yours?)
• “Can You Top This?” (Perhaps.)
• “Wanna Bet?” (Sure. I am usually game for a small, friendly wager.)
• “Without Prejudice?” (I would hope so; it seems only fair.)
• “Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?” (I find the prospect of marrying for money intriguing, but only in the absence of a qualified pre-nup.)
• “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” (Me.)
• “Who Wants to Marry My Dad?” (Not me.)
• “Remember This?” (It is likely; my recall has been tested at the 99 percentile.)
• “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?” (Probably some place nice, with temperate weather and decent attractions.)
• “Who Said That?” (You did. Just now.)
• “What’s My Line?” (-500, but I’ll back you. I’m feeling lucky today.)
• “Whose Line is it Anyway?” (You just said it was yours. Based on possibly deficient mental faculties, I’m afraid I must rescind my previous offer of financial backing. I apologize.)
• “What Would You Do?” (It depends on the situation, but normally I would assess all possible options and select the choice with most beneficial likely outcome.)
• “So You Think You Can Dance?” (No.)
• “Who Wants to be a Superhero?” (Oooh, me. But only if I get to fly.)
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