Rachael’s Reality: Michael Vick


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Dear Michael Vick,

I’m not sure I understand the premise behind your new reality show, “The Michael Vick Project.”

I know BET isn’t giving you a reality show so you can flaunt your passion for ethical animal treatment. And let’s hope the show’s sole focus isn’t to add to your already overflowing NFL paycheck.

Will it be a how-to-give-the-best-dogfight-and-get-away-with-it promotion or is it supposed to prove you’re not a jackass? Are you just trying ride alongside T.I. on his “Road to Redemption” or catch up to Terrell Owens (or as I like to call him that “other football player who doesn’t need to be showcased on TV more than he already is” guy)?

Not happening, bro. The only thing you’ll get out of your impending show is public reassurance that the only thing you deserve less than being on television is a puppy.

So is your big plan to market the show as an eight part “docu-series” so viewers forget they’re watching a vanity act? That’s pathetic, you over-publicized dip. We all know it’s a reality show, just own it.

OK, so let’s talk about stuff you claim you’ll be discussing. The show (which was rumored to be named “The Dogg Pound” … um, bad taste much?), is supposedly going to touch on your struggles after jail and how you want to alter your public perception.

Seriously? Tell us viewers, Mr. Vick — if you never got caught, would you still be running the dogfighting ring? Maybe it’s presumptuous to assume you would be, but let’s just go ahead and figure that’s the truth.

So do you really think, even if you let the world into your everyday mundane, pointless, boring activities as a way to illicit sympathy from viewers, that it would actually work? Extremely doubtful. It’s hard to believe anyone would care about you after the crap you’ve pulled.

So Michael, if you want to gain the respect of the world, don’t do it via reality show. Try volunteering or working for PETA for a bit. Though it’s extremely doubtful people will ever forgive you for your illegal dogfighting, try gaining respect by keeping yourself out of the public.

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