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Absolutely no

BY BEAU ELLIOT | OCTOBER 06, 2009 7:20 AM

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So President Obama failed (failed — how can Obama the Hope fail?) to snatch away the Olympic Games from those greedy Brazilians and bring them to Chicago.

(OK, OK; quite obviously, Brazilians are no greedier than any other human beings. Sheesh. Can’t a guy be absurd for no apparent reason? Whatever happened to the spirit of Borges? And yes, I realize that Borges was not Brazilian.)

Yes, Obama famously tried a Hail Mary pass in Copenhagen on the 2016 Olympics, but it was intercepted by Rio de Janeiro (just to throw a sports metaphor into the blender and hit the slurry button).

Silly guy. He should have known that they play an entirely different sort of football in Copenhagen, and that brand doesn’t allow Hail Mary passes, among other things.

So he failed on the whole Chicago-Olympics thing — which means, of course, that what we have here is a failed presidency. First the Olympics, next, it’ll be health-insurance reform. I mean, anyone who can’t get the Games will surely flub health care.

And after that, climate-change legislation is obviously dead (what with the Olympics snafu, Americans are not going to warm up to climate-change legislation). As is financial reform.

Let’s face it — he is politically dead in the water. He doesn’t get the Games, he ain’t got game.
Obama should resign.

No, really.

Of course, that means — President Biden? Hmmm. I’m not quite sure that’s the change we believed in.

Well, all right, not No, really. I exaggerated. Just slightly.

I mean, yeah, Obama failed to get the Olympics. But we should remember we’re talking about games.

You know, things that people play. From some of the reactions, you’d think we were discussing something important.

Like baseball.

(Life imitates baseball. Life used to imitate art, but then baseball became more surreal than art, and Life switched partners. Life can be so fickle.)

Meanwhile, back at the Obama narrative, before we write his political obit, we should take a glance back into the foggy mists of the distant past and remember that Obama also failed in the New Hampshire primary. And some pundits opined he was mortally wounded, politically.

And, as they say, we all saw how that turned out.

Some of our fellow Americans on the right have apparently forgotten the lesson of New Hampshire, if their public celebration over the Obama stumble is any indication. You know, all the usual suspects — Rush, etc.

It’s as if they’re so desperate for Obama to fail that any little black eye, including something so trivial as the location of the Olympics, is a cause to break out the champagne and party as if they had won a prize. As Paul Krugman of the New York Times wrote, the right wing “has the emotional maturity of a bratty 13-year-old.”

I tend to agree, except that I think Krugman is unfairly insulting bratty 13-year-olds.

As we have seen over the summer with the health-care “debate,” the conservatives seemed determined to plumb any depth, dive into any slime, in their search for No.

And we ain’t talking classical Japanese drama here.

I believe Cole Porter wrote a famous tune about them:

“Anything No.”


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