Bitch Please: Lady Gaga


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Lady Gaga — Genius or Idiot?

Lady GaGa is an idiot

It was a sad day in American music history when it was announced Monday that Lady GaGa would be honored as Billboard magazine’s “Rising Star” during the publication’s Women in Music event later this week.

Lady GaGa, a.k.a. Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, somehow managed to seep into pop-radio airwaves with catchy, and of course trashy, songs such as “Poker Face” and “LoveGame.”

Mothers cringe at the sight of witnessing their prepubescent daughters lip-synching to this filth. But Lady GaGa has unfortunately amazed both the American public and the paparazzi.

Her music, redundantly explicit and a nonsensical mush of dance pop, can honestly only be tolerated when one is completely inebriated while waiting for last call downtown.

Not shockingly, Lady GaGa models her songs after her lifestyle interests, which include clothes and hair. In regards to her bizarre physical appearance, well, let’s just say that when Christina Aguilera comments on the uncertainty of your sex, you have problems.

So what's next for this vapid superstar? A re-release of her ludicrous album The Fame. I wouldn't pay for the album once, and I certainly wouldn't pay for it a second time.

— by Adam Salazar

Lady GaGa is a genius

People are quick to call Lady Gaga crazy, judging by her over-the-top performances and outrageous couture wardrobe, but this “crazy” masks a pure genius.

Beneath the layers of extravagant plastic headpieces, glitter, and hair extensions lurks a mastermind. There is more to her than shocking exterior and top-40 pop music. Her very name, “Lady GaGa,” is a joke on society — it suggests “I’m a lady, I’m a no-name, I’m a robot — go ga-ga over me, imitate me.”

Her vapid surface plays into the image, but a deeper look reveals the genius. Not to mention, Lady GaGa is no dummy. The lady writes and produces all of her own music, and she learned the piano at the ripe age of 4. From her subliminal message-laced music videos and songs to her unforgettable outfits and expressionless attitude, Lady GaGa is not the media’s puppet but rather its puppeteer.

The singer/songwriter has been quoted as saying, “It’s about wooing the paparazzi to fall in love with me. It’s about the media whoring, watching ersatz make fools of themselves to their station.”

The joke is clearly on us.

— by Bri LaPelusa

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