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ARIES (March 21-April 19): An opportunity that will allow you to profit and learn at the same time will present itself. Make last-minute changes if it will ease your mind and secure your position. Domestic or house problems will surface; stay calm.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): An opportunity will occur ? be ready to take on the challenge. You won’t have to look far to find answers, but verify all the facts you’ve been given. An exaggerated point of view can throw you off-course.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You are facing a no-win situation that must be handled with diplomacy. One false move, and you may end up defending your position, actions, and your integrity. Physical challenges and hard work will take your mind off pressing issues.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Run the show, call the shots, and do your thing. That’s when you are happiest and do your best work. A home-based business will bring benefits down the road. Give extra care to an older friend or relative.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Temptation may get the better of you when it comes to parting with your hard-earned cash. Don’t believe the sales pitch you are given. Do your research. Chances are that whatever you are being told is too good to be true.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You’ll be inclined to take on someone else’s responsibility. In doing so, you will open up a channel of communication with someone who has something to offer. Meeting someone extraordinary will change the way you think about your future.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Think outside the box when it comes to your social networking or investment plans. You stand to profit in many ways if you get involved with people who can offer you the skills needed to complete something you are pursuing.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If something doesn’t seem right to you, it probably isn’t. Don’t give in to anyone trying to persuade you to make unnecessary changes. Stay put until you have everything in place and the protection you need to move forward.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Someone will criticize you for your inability to follow through with a promise. Trying to talk your way out of a situation may work in the initial stages, but sooner or later, you will be questioned and asked to keep your word.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don’t let past pressures or memories stand in your way. Old emotions may flare up, but in the end, you have to be rational and do what’s best for yourself. Love is in the stars.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Someone may be uncertain about where you fit into her or his future. If you can’t get a straight answer, move on and cut your losses. Invest in yourself by signing up for a course, investing your money, or doing something to update your look.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You may have to answer questions if you haven’t done things by the rules. A relationship will need a little tender-loving-care if you don’t want to send the wrong signal. A short trip for two can do wonders for your love life.

 

 

 

 


Hump Day Haiku

by Andrew Juhl


Always split the check.
It’s cheaper than a condom
and more effective.

Gals are addictive.
They’re made of sugar and spice
… and possibly crack.

Thou art mine shepherd,
but, Lord, is not thou a tad
overqualified?

I look overweight,
but it’s mostly baby fat.
I’ve had six today.

My friends all got drunk
and threw-up Captain Morgan.
Such mutinous whelps.

Useless gravity.
Never done a thing for me.
’Cept keep me down, man.

Five-hour drive home.
Frustrating, when it’s only
twelve inches of map.

It is my party,
and I’ll cry if I want to,
but I likely won’t.

I’m beside myself.
The only explanation:
a time paradox.

Oh, the BCS.
Why ruining perfectly good
New Year’s hangovers?









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