q
 
|
New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): The help you offer others will be repaid in a very special and unexpected way. You will have some great ideas, but you may have to hone them to fit your budget. Ask approval before you make your final decision. Maintain your integrity.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don’t trust anyone with information that might affect your career or professional or financial goals. You have to be on your toes to outsmart and outmaneuver. Your intentions regarding someone you think is special should be revealed.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You will learn something very valuable if you listen to the voice of reason and experience. Perhaps taking baby steps will be more advantageous. Don’t count on getting any help from your friends or lover this time.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Your main concern has to be your status at home and in the workforce. A necessary change may make you nervous, but in the end, you will prosper. Be the silent observer and the thoughtful contributor.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don’t let what others do or say affect your productivity. Concentrate on moving things along using interesting suggestions and a mellow persona. Don’t trust hearsay or promises that sound too good to be true.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Give your all to the cause, project, or person you are trying to move along. You can form an alliance with someone who will add to your skills and ideas. A change in the way you think will surprise some — but not those who are already on the same page.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Nurture and pay extra attention to the things you do and the people you love. Make changes at home to accommodate everyone, and you can reach your highest potential. Sharing what you have will open up opportunities you didn’t know were available.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You won’t see things too clearly. Your intuition is off target, and that will cause you to make an error that could affect you or your home negatively. Look for advice from an outsider who can view your situation objectively.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Uncertainty at home and in personal relationships will take you by surprise, and it must be handled with diplomacy if you don’t want to suffer setbacks. You may want to divvy up what you share with someone before things get messy.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Get involved in a new interest. Expand your awareness, philosophy, or knowledge. Making personal changes to your home or workspace will enable you to be more productive. Invest in your future.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You’ll have trouble keeping things to yourself as well as within your limits. You will be prone to exaggeration, overindulgence, and unrealistic expectations. Before you spend, rethink your strategy, and plan something that is within your budget.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You have too much to risk by sharing time-sensitive information. You can change your mind or redirect your efforts, but don’t lose sight of what everyone around you is doing. A problem with poor information or someone reneging is likely to set you back.

 

 

 

 


What my neighbor might have been thinking as I watched the Iowa vs. PSU game:

by Andrew Juhl


• Q1, PSU scores touchdown on its very first play: “Did someone just stab Andrew in the balls?”

• Q1, Iowa throws interception: “A man named ‘Stanzi’ is apparently sleeping with Andrew’s mother.”

• Q1, PSU field goal: “He must have hurt himself. I can hear him crying.”

• Q2, Iowa forces safety: “That boy sure seems fired up for basketball season.”

• Q2, Iowa field goal: “How do you cover a spread? A spread is a covering. I’m so confused.”

• Q3, PSU missed field goal: “He seems to really dislike large cats. Panthers, then wildcats, now lions …”

• Q4, Iowa blocks, returns punt: “Does he have a girl over there? I think a girl just screamed, ‘Oh my god!’ ”

• Q4, PSU throws interception: “He does! He’s totally having sex right now!”

• Q4, Iowa rushing touchdown: “Those sounds aren’t natural. Maybe it’s porn.”

• Q4, Iowa recovers PSU fumble: “Wow. Definitely not porn. But whoever she is, she sounds like she’s enjoying herself.”

• Q4, PSU throws interception: “Give it a rest, Juhl. Who you trying to impress?”

• Q4, Iowa scores field goal: “He just made $50?! Goodness, I’m living next to a gigolo!”









Daily Iowan Advertising
Today's Display Ads | Today's Classifieds | Advertising Info



Sponsored Links  
   
T-Shirt Design T Shirt Printing
Insurance Leads Charlotte Web Design
Health Insurance Leads Home Equity Loans
Home Service Guides Custom T Shirts
Life Insurance DMI Furniture
Custom Magnets Buy a text ad