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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Get serious about your spending habits, and you can reduce your overhead. Impulse shopping has to stop and a set budget put into place. The changes you make now will lead to a better lifestyle in the long run.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Calling the shots is in your best interest, and it will help you set the standard for the future. Love is on the rise, and a social event or activity will help you get closer to someone you respect and admire.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Don’t give anyone a reason to pick on you. Do whatever you are responsible for quickly and efficiently. You can expect to be blamed for whatever goes wrong. Have your answers ready, and don’t leave room for error.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Stick close to home, and make some alterations that will help you be more efficient. Romance is in the stars, and it should be scheduled in for the evening hours. A short business trip will open up new possibilities.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Avoid doing anything in excess. You have to cut back, not spend frivolously. Settle for what’s available instead of striving for the impossible. Someone will condemn you if you are lazy or too impartial.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Once you have established your own position, you can accomplish things you have always wanted to do. Your efforts will be rewarded and your confidence boosted. Discuss your feelings with someone you care about.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You may have to leave someone behind or search for a new group to collaborate with if things aren’t moving fast enough. You will face opposition if you are too bold or pushy. Make your work or endeavor interesting, and you won’t have to ask for favors or help.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don’t let someone else’s wants and needs surpass your own or those of the people you feel are worthy of your help. You will find answers to the questions that have been confusing you for some time. Get involved in something unusual.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You may not want to confront a situation you face, but by avoiding it, you will end up in a much worse position. Face your demons head on with facts and figures that cannot be denied. Set the record straight, and move on.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Get out and celebrate. You’ve got so much to be thankful for, and if you let people see your positive outlook, ideas, and plans, you will be offered all the help you need. A partnership that is important to you needs a little nurturing.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Take a wait-and-see attitude, especially when dealing with friends, relatives, or neighbors. By jumping to conclusions, you are likely to miss something beneficial. Listen to the advice given.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The more diverse you are, the more people you will meet to form partnerships. Don’t be afraid to change your mind at the last minute. At the end of the day, you can feel good about where you are.
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Thoughts on Sunday’s Emmycast: by Andrew Juhl
• Why is Sigourney Weaver doing made-for-television movies? You know there’s an Aliens 5 screenplay floating around out there somewhere.
• Neil Patrick Harris mocked “Wipeout” as lowbrow. I couldn’t possibly agree (or like the show “Wipeout”) any more.
• Paula Abdul was a no-show. I don’t get it; the Emmys is one of two places Paula’s talentless and pretentiousness wouldn’t be out-of-place. BET is the other.
• Apparently, Jon Hamm makes Tina Fey sweat through her “lady blazer.” Is that type of lingerie I’m unfamiliar with?
• Memo to Vanessa Williams: Quit being so prim and uptight. You’re on a show called “Ugly Betty.” Loosen the hell up.
• John Hodgman, perhaps the whitest man living, served as the night’s color commentator. I found that mildly amusing — more so than Hodgman.
• Despite what categories “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” actually won, I consider it the winner of Best Reality Program.
• Michael Jackson got a round of applause so loud, he might’ve heard it in Hell.
• I had no idea Toni Collette was Australian. Her natural accent is aurally jarring. Much like all her fake ones.
• I don’t understand how Kyra Sedgwick stays in such great shape, considering all the Bacon she eats.
• Brendan Gleeson looks a little too much like Brian Dennehy. To think of it, has anyone ever seen them in the same place at the same time?!
• At the two-hour mark, the Emmycast admitted onscreen that it was running five-plus minutes long. Viewers were then immediately treated to five minutes of commercials.
• An impression: “Rargh! I’m Bob Newhart! Computers and references to modern culture scare me! Bad math joke. Rargh!” (That was an impression of me, being an asshole.)
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