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ARIES (March 21-April 19): The more you step out on a limb for someone or something you believe in, the better you will do. There is plenty of potential coupled with opportunities if you work alongside people with the same goal or point of view. Don’t fear the unknown.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don’t count on anyone who is trying to pressure you. Even if promised, you aren’t likely to get what you want in the end. Instead, go it alone. You will be able to capture attention by giving the most for the least.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Someone critical will be waiting for you to make a mistake. Your insight and ability to do things with finesse should be enough to keep everyone happy. Love and romance will lead to a chance to travel.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): If you overload your agenda, you will end up feeling anxious. An argument will harm a relationship you have with someone from work or with whom you have to deal regularly. Make your home more adaptable for the responsibilities you have taken on.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You’ll be able to express your feelings effortlessly. The talks you have will clear up any misconceptions. Plan a vacation that will allow you some time to relax.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A serious attitude will help you persuade others to take a chance on you. Uncertainty regarding someone you love can be cleared up with a few simple questions. Don’t make assumptions, or you will make a poor decision.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Love is on the rise, and a chance to share your emotions with someone special will develop. It’s time to make new friends and to find new hobbies. Idle time will lead to anxiety.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Watch your back. Someone you think you can trust will let you down. Focus on work, helping others, and visiting friends. Creative collaboration will pay off. Avoid overindulgence in any form.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You will discover alternative ways to make more money. A love relationship can lead to an easier lifestyle and less pressure on you. Follow your heart; it will not lead you astray.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You may be under a little pressure; don’t let anyone push you to do something before you are ready. A serious deal will require more time and effort if you want to maximize the outcome. Find out everything you can.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You can clear matters up by talking about the way you feel and what your plans are for the future. Don’t hold back when so much depends on being truthful about your concerns and intentions. Love and romance will take a favorable turn.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don’t get caught up in the hoopla when there is so much more to the events taking place. Do your research, and find out what and who is behind a project or event you want to be a part of. There may be a change of heart regarding a partnership.
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A partial list of things I should probably tell every prospective girlfriend by Andrew Juhl
• Whether you prefer skim or 2 percent milk, I will claim to prefer the opposite, even though I really couldn’t care less. This allows me to make the 1 percent compromise, and gives me one free make-you-compromise-on-something later.
• If we have an argument, and I somehow prove you are horribly incorrect, I will never hold your ignorance against you during future discussions. I may remind you of it often and repeatedly, but I will never hold it against you.
• I’ve never been a superstitious person because being a superstitious person is bad luck.
• My mother was adopted; I have no idea who my real mother is.
• Sometimes, when I poop, I push so hard that I get a headache. When this happens, I will act like a child and expect you mollycoddle me.
• I use words like “mollycoddle.” Often.
• Don’t make the mistake of thinking that, when I’m gazing transfixed into your eyes, this it is because I am in love with you; I’m practicing to be a Scanner.
• Having a child with me equates to consenting that I may dress it in funny clothes and race it against other neighborhood kids down the sidewalk while all of fathers watch. And take bets.
• I like cute underwear, but not as much as tiny underwear, and definitely not as much as no underwear. But if you must insist, I’ll wear them.
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