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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Get a better handle on your finances; budget and change some of your deals to suit your current needs. Once you feel better about your spending habits, you will be able to move on to a new project with confidence. Love is in the stars.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): There may be a conflict between the changes you want to make at home and who else is willing to go along with your plans. Don’t back down, but do compromise. A happy home life is well worth giving up a few minor things.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Take the time to listen to someone who interests you, and you can form a coalition that will benefit you both. A change in plans will help you manipulate your professional situation. Your efforts can lead to a higher paying or more interesting position.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): You’ll get all worked up over nothing. Not everyone will agree with you, but does it really matter? Organization and good preparation will help you succeed and prove your point without rancor.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You can win at whatever you do if you go about it the right way. Concentrate on making everyone comfortable with your plans, and you will get help, admiration, and love from someone in your life who really matters to you.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Be careful with whom you share information. Someone may not be as honest or loyal as you hope. You can excel — but only if you are willing to do the work yourself. Uncertainty will be your downfall. Proceed with confidence.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You can talk your way into any deal or activity or group that you wish to be a part of, but before you do, make sure that you really want to be involved. Chances are good that your motives may not be in the right place.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A work problem may leave you feeling emotionally down. Don’t let this stand in the way of moving forward with one of your own plans. You don’t have to spend money to get something off the ground.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You can skillfully market your talent and grab interest, but if you cannot follow through, you will face the wrath of someone with more experience. Know what you are doing before you proceed.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don’t let anyone take advantage of your talents, your financial position, or your ability to bring people together. Be sure that the people around you are sound and can offer what they say before you get involved.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your playfulness will capture interest and get you involved in something perfect for you to pursue. An idea that can earn you extra cash will intrigue you, but before you get involved, make sure it doesn’t go against any rules.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Your inability to make up your mind will unnerve someone you are trying to befriend or get into a partnership with. Don’t get involved with someone personally if you have a business or work relationship with this person.
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Freshman Advice Week (Finals): by Andrew Juhl
• No test you take will be “too hard.” If you go to class, do the homework, ask the questions, and are generally more intelligent than a meth-addicted ferret, you’ll perform just fine. If you don’t, then it’s your own fault for spending so many hours photoshopping fake nudes of Kim Kardashian (um … for example).
• Date all of your notes and keep them in one place. That way, you’ll be able to know during finals what bands and television shows you were into during midterms, as well as be able to track any increase in your doodling prowess over the course of the semester.
• If you’re having trouble getting up in time for your first class, just set your alarm to play an audio file of someone yelling, “TAILGATING.” Shooting out of bed is surprisingly easy when you think there’s soon football and beer to be had.
• Set aside 30 minutes every single day for the purpose of studying. Then you’ll have almost 60 extra hours to spend cramming at the end of the semester.
• Making up a final is rough, so if you start to feel sick, immediately logon to WebMD, diagnose, and treat yourself. Then, fail to get any sleep the rest of the week while obsessing over all the diseases you have according to WebMD.
• When it comes time to buy your term papers online (as some of you will), try not to balk at the price tag. Sure, spending $135 for 12 pages on Jonathan Swift’s Observations of Gender Roles in *Gulliver’s Travels* seems a little steep, but finals week is no time to get stingy about buying your degree. I mean, what else are you going to do? Study? HA!
• Remember: you can always retake a course or switch your major, but you only get one shot at being this young.
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