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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Chances are good that you are not being given the information you require to make a proper decision. Don’t get angry, but be persistent and ask pertinent questions. You need to know what’s best for everyone.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don’t be fooled by an acquaintance asking for help. Focus on your home, family, and relationships. A favorable romantic occurrence will lead to a better situation.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Your savvy approach to everything you do will be proof enough that you know how to handle others and accomplish your goals. An emotional matter that arises between you and a colleague must be kept under control and not made public, if possible.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You can make a difference to the people around you if you offer help and suggestions. A change regarding your work will lead to a healthier and happier situation. Assess your past to discover what you want and need in your life.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Think before you make alterations that might upset someone you love. Find out what everyone around you wants before you make a decision that can change the schedules of those you love. A partnership may be on shaky ground.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Use your experience and your ability to find out the truth about what is actually happening within a legal or financial deal that may influence you future. Your thoroughness will pay off.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Don’t stop short of what’s required of you in order to advance. You have everything aligned for advancement. With an unusual twist to the way you see and do things, you should be well on your way to stardom.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Let your emotions lead the way, and you will outshine anyone who tries to outdo you. You can make some very original changes to your current plans and surprise everyone with your genius. Love is in the stars.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Home, family, and the assets you have accumulated must be protected. A change at home may come as a surprise, but as long as you have your side of things covered, you will not suffer the consequences of a past poor decision.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Tie up some of the details that are holding back a project or plan you have been trying to get off the ground. There is an interesting opportunity to mix a little business with pleasure. Take your time, and find out where it all could lead.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Do not deviate from your plans because someone is causing you grief. This is not the time to give in to temptation or get involved with someone who isn’t the best role model. You owe it to your friends and family to avoid past mistakes.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Alterations to your home or living arrangements will benefit you in the long run. You have to look at the overall picture and structure your decisions to accommodate your plans for the future. A passionate encounter will lead to a better understanding.





Freshman Advice Week (General):

by Andrew Juhl

• Don’t be intimidated by the Campus Police. They often use terms like “noise complaint” or “zoning violation” or “unregistered livestock” or even “the right to remain silent,” but they can’t prove those goats didn’t enjoy themselves, and they know it.

• College is lousy with compulsive one-uppers. To believe these people is to believe that their classes are always harder, that they always have more fun, and that they used to bull’s-eye womp rats in their T-16 back home — but that’s impossible, even for a computer!

• College is also lousy with Star Wars nerds.

• Many students gain weight during the semester. To avoid this, you may find it useful limit yourself to a 1500-calorie diet. If such a diet doesn’t satiate your hunger, put yourself on a second one (and a third, fourth, or fifth, if need be).

• Ladies, when walking alone after dark, make sure to carry at least a couple of knives in your purse. Nothing deters would-be attacker like getting whacked in the face with a purse full of knives.

• Acknowledge that you do not have it so bad. For example, when I was an undergrad, tuition was your first-born child and the “cambus” was a homeless man who’d carry you to class for the price of three potatoes. If you were low on potatoes, you had to haul your granite homework tablets to and from your daily 4 a.m. classes by strapping them to your back, then wrap barbed wire around your feet in order to obtain traction on the icy Iowa tundra — and that was in late spring! We also sewed foxtails to our leggings because that was the fashion and foxtails were aplenty.

• This is college, not the UK. Brush your teeth occasionally.

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