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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Bide your time and wait until the right moment to make your move. Personal problems will arise if you have neglected someone who counts on you emotionally. A change of heart or mind will lead to an unusual pursuit.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Nothing will go unnoticed, so give your all to whatever you do. Now is the time to rethink your vocation strategy and make sure you are getting all that you deserve. Don’t be afraid to ask for a raise or a better position.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Don’t be overly confident, or you will be disappointed. Your charm will come from your curiosity and questioning, not telling everyone what you can do. Before things spin out of control, put your creative imagination to work, and give praise where it’s due.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The emphasis should be on home, family, and getting your personal life in order. A couple of adjustments will make things easier. A partnership that was on shaky ground can now be dealt with.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Make a concerted effort to finish what you start so you can get serious about what you want. Reassess your current financial situation honestly. Set up interviews, discussions, and conversations with people who can offer you assistance.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You’ll find it difficult to deal with emotional matters that concern a partner. Don’t make sudden moves that can influence your financial or professional future. Focus on home, family, and doing what’s best for yourself.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Don’t let what’s not being said get to you. Ignore the pettiness around you, and focus on your own creative talent. You will find your way into a whole new realm of what really matters at the end of the day.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): It’s what you do to help others that will show your strength, courage and ability to get things done. Instant success can be yours. A change in your personal status will lead you down a new and inspiring avenue.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Someone will be critical about what you’ve done and how you plan to proceed. You may have to make some changes in order to get what you want to do past the scrutiny. Don’t promise what you cannot deliver.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): There is a deal to be made. Focus on home, family, and personal investments, and you will surpass your wildest dreams. Someone will not be pleased with your rules or your strategy, but do your thing and don’t look back.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You have to be honest before you can make a decision regarding love, life, and relationships. Your aggressive action may pay off initially, but in the end, it will backfire.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You’ll be torn between the truth and the way you tell the story. Look at the facts before you put yourself in an awkward position. Love is in the stars, and if you are upfront, kind, and affectionate, you will get the results you are looking for.





The 132 things I found in my girlfriend’s pocketbook:

by Andrew Juhl

IC Public Library card 1; Coralville Public Library card (traitor)2; daughter’s swimming certifications (both expired) 3-4; certification allowing her to use nonviolent restraint methods on children (current) 5; “What to do if your child is missing” cards (both expired) 6-7; dental and medical insurance cards (current) 8-9; copies of same auto insurance card (each expressly saying “Do NOT keep all copies in one location.”) 10-13; business card for ATV, PWC, and motorcycle repair shop (she owns none of the these modes of transportation) 14; card reminding her to remain sober on prom night (her senior prom was more than nine years ago, and she did not attend) 15; membership cards to video-rental stores that no longer exist 16-17; business card of pet store that no longer exists 18; professional photos (of four different children, one best friend, and two dogs) 19-43; $50 bill 44; $25 check, signed, dated, and paid to the order of nobody in particular 45; $2.84 in assorted coins (mostly pennies) 46-106; receipt from four months ago for an energy drink ($2.04 with tax) 107; annual bus pass (current) 108; Target coupons (valid) 109-110; Victoria’s Secret coupons (two valid, seven expired) 111-118; Best Buy gift card ($5 left) 119; Wal-Mart gift card ($? left) 120; checkbook with one check remaining (never balanced) 121; two keycards to a hotel she stayed in two months ago 122; nine-digit number written on a sticky note (faded, no idea what it is, refuses to throw it away) 123; B&N card, AAA card, Biolife debit card, bank debit card, and credit union debit card (all valid, all unsigned) 124-129; student ID (expired, signed) 130; wood screw (unused, Phillips, no idea of what it’s for) 131; and driver’s license (valid, organ donor, good pic, very cute face, weight misrepresented) 132.

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