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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take charge of your life, and follow your dreams. As long as you take action, things will happen. Put time aside for the one you love, or, if single, socialize and you will meet someone special.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You can be nice without letting someone walk all over you. Protect your heart and your assets. Your ability to say no will make the difference in how people treat you. Stick to your decision regardless of pressure.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You cannot give in to emotional blackmail. If someone is giving you an ultimatum, walk away. Don’t let your sensitivity get in the way of an important decision. Put what you want and need first.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Changes at home can make you feel better. Surprise your friends and family by doing things a little differently. You may be a Crab who likes to keep everything the same, but sometimes a change can be as good as a rest.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don’t overreact to situations, or you will be considered too hard to deal with. Your finances must be sorted out, debts paid, and money owed collected. Keep things simple. Don’t overspend to impress or manipulate someone into doing something.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Sort out any perplexing matter on your own. Sharing your thoughts or personal problems will put you in a vulnerable position. Focus on you and what you can do to rejuvenate and pamper yourself. Don’t let a lover, friend, or colleague force you to argue.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Travel plans should be in the works even if it is just a short trip to visit someone you miss. A hobby or creative project that interests you should get a boost from someone who takes an interest in what you are doing. Your mood will be romantic.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You’ll be your own worst enemy if you pick a fight or are difficult to get along with. Don’t push your plans on others. You have to be more accommodating if you want to keep things running smoothly in your personal life.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Avoid money deals with friends or family. The advice from someone with experience may save you losing out on something that you’ve wanted for some time. Problems with love can be expected.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Focus on home, family, and real estate. You don’t need to form a partnership to get things done. Keep things simple and within your means, and you will come out on top. Say no if someone asks for financial help.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Re-evaluate a partnership you are involved in. You have to strive for equality or move on. Discuss your plans, and you will soon find out who is with you and who isn’t. This is not the time to show uncertainty.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Take a very direct and determined approach, and follow through with your plans. Someone who doesn’t like what you are doing personally will confront you. Make sure you have thought matters through.





Company name etymologies (cont.):

by Andrew Juhl

• 20th Century Fox: Named after one of its biggest stars, Rita Hayworth.

• 3Com: named for the three “coms” of technology: communication, computers, and “COM’ ON, DAMMIT, LOAD!”

• Boeing: onomatopoeia for the sound its planes make when they bounce.

• Exxon: so-named because its many oil spills have been shown to cause genetic mutations in wildlife.

• Honda: Named for its founder, Edmond Honda, whose hundred-hand slaps worked as well in the boardroom as they did street fighting. Two. Turbo.

• Kinko’s: so-named because its photocopiers were originally only used to photocopy people’s butts.

• Old Spice: A euphemism for rat wax. Don’t you smell nice!

• Smurfit-Stone Container: a product of Gargamel’s obtuseness when setting up dummy corporations for his schemes.

• Samsung: Korean for “three stars,” which is only a score of 75 percent on most star-based scales I know of.

• Siemens: nope, sorry; too easy.

• Starbucks: named after a character in Herman Melville’s novel Moby-Dick; exactly which character that is, however, is unknown.

• Volkswagen: a German term with no English equivalent, roughly translatable to “flimsy reason to punch your sibling.”

• Umbro: a shortening of the phrase, “Um, bro, I think you’re hanging out of your soccer shorts.”

• YKK: why not not?

• Yahoo!: it played better in focus groups than “Hooray Porn!”

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