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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Criticism can be constructive, but don’t let it stop you from finishing what you start. Don’t just listen to what’s being said, offer your input and ask questions if there are things you don’t agree with or understand. With a clear picture of what’s required, you can get on with more enjoyable pastimes.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Travel for business or pleasure will bring remarkable revelations regarding your current position and partnerships. The possibilities are endless. Communication will clear up any doubts and enable you to move forward.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Take stock of what needs to be cleared up through dealings with banks, government agencies, schools, hospitals, or the courts. The more precise and serious you are about what you want, the better the outcome.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don’t reveal the way you feel, or you may be forced to talk about something you aren’t ready to discuss. The responsibilities you have taken on will prepare you for something bigger and better, so stop viewing your situation negatively.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You probably have as much knowledge and more finesse as anyone putting demands on you. Surround yourself with positive, upbeat doers who can and will contribute to your plans.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A friendship with someone very different from yourself will help you see situations from many angles. An opportunity is available that you must take advantage of before someone else does.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Get your priorities straight. You cannot let your heart rule your head. Once you have made a commitment, stick to it, or you will give the impression that you are not reliable. Don’t renege on your promises or your plans.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don’t waffle — someone will take advantage of your vulnerability. Don’t let someone else’s jealousy cause you to doubt your ability. Avoid any complications by doing the work required on your own.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You’ll be tempted to overspend when it’s not necessary. Not finishing what you start or making accusations about what you can and cannot do will lead to criticism. A change in a personal relationship will catch you by surprise.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): There is a time and place for everything, and once in a while, you have to take a break for the sake of yourself and those who love you. An interesting look at your personal situation will make you realize what you have and what you can strive to acquire.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your knowledge and fabulous way of analyzing situations will grab someone’s interest. The more you share with someone you like, the stronger your bond with the person will become. Love is on the rise.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You have to think of others if you want recognition, support, and help. Approach people carefully, and feel out their situation before making assumptions regarding what can be offered. Take any relationship seriously, and honor what is expected of you in return.

 

 

 

 


Tuesdays with Maury: (Inquiring Maury episode titles that I can answer without watching)

by Andrew Juhl


• Did My Husband Sleep With 20 Women and Prostitutes? (Yes, but probably not all at once.)

• I Slept With Five Men … Is One My Baby’s Father? (Yes. And he’s about to feel like he won the reverse lottery.)

• My Daughter Is in the Seventh Grade! Is She a Prostitute and a Pimp? (Doubtful; she’s likely one or the other, but not both.)

• Can You Tell? Moms, Daughters, or Sisters? (Daughters. All of them. Guaranteed.)

• Child Beauty Pageants … What Is the Cost of Winning? (A normal childhood.)

• I Need the Truth … Is My Man Sleeping with Teen Girls? (If not, he’d like to be.)

• I Love You … How Could You Sleep With My Mom? (He’s trash, and your mom was willing.)

• Which of These Halloween Honeys Is Really a Man? (The one with a penis.)

• Is My 13-Year-Old Daughter Getting Paid to Have Sex? (Maybe, if she’s entrepreneurial.)

• You Said You Loved Me … Why Did You Try To Kill Me? (Because you’re the kind of person that would bring them on Maury.)

• I’m Seven Months Pregnant … How Could You Dump Me? (You’ve put on weight.)

• How Can You Deny that You Are the Father of Our Child? (He’s making a bet based on his firsthand knowledge of your promiscuity.)

• Is My Young Teen Daughter Sleeping with Older Men? (Well, I doubt she’s sleeping with younger men.)

• I Got Pregnant at 14 — Are You My Baby’s Daddy? (No, no I am not. Probably.)









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