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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don’t mix up your plans because someone is causing you grief. A problem will result if you let your personal life have an effect on your professional or vice versa. Putting pressure on someone you love will backfire.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Stop being passive when you need to be aggressive. Waiting for someone else to make a decision will not result in what’s best for you. If you aren’t willing to compromise or take on something new, you will be passed by.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Show your worth by expressing your ideas and, before you know it, you will be calling the shots. Someone you have wanted to work with will notice what you are doing and will make a beneficial suggestion. A business trip or networking will pay off.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You may feel like hiding out but that won’t resolve any of the issues you’ve been facing. Take a hands-on approach. Now is not the time to put up with people or situations that are not working for you.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don’t give in or let others take the lead on a pending project or concern. You may be too busy having fun to notice that someone is taking advantage of you. Don’t spend cash unnecessarily.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Take action before it’s too late. Fight for your rights and for what you want. You can come out on top but only if you have the gumption to place your name in the hat. Participation will allow you to reach heights that otherwise would elude you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Honesty with regard to your abilities will help you find your niche. Trying to buy your way into something won’t work. You have to have what it takes to get there with talent, skill and knowledge.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A creative or unusual project that you have been developing needs changes in order to make it mainstream and user friendly. Talks will go well and contracts can be negotiated and signed. Keep personal and professional matters separate.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You must spend more time building your equity. Letting things ride or stay the same will not bring the profits you need to sustain your lifestyle. If you have described what you have to offer inaccurately, expect a deal to be rebuked.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Focus on loved ones, hobbies or socializing. Change your location or visit a place you’ve never been before. The learning experience will be worth it in terms of the people you meet.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Rethink past relationships and weed out the people who aren’t giving back. Consider who best fits your lifestyle. Don’t lose sight of your goals because someone discourages you. A new friendship will give you hope for things to come.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Lend a helping hand to a group you believe in. It’s a new beginning, so don’t waste time on what’s behind. Focus on the future. You can turn something you volunteer for into a paying contract.

 

 

 

 


How some of William Shakespeare’s most famous quotations would have turned out, had he been a contemporary Hollywood screenwriter:

by Andrew Juhl


• “But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.” = Hey, look! There’s Juliet.

• “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” = Bitch, please.

• “Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.” = Laters!

• “Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears!” = Listen up, bitches!

• “Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind.“ = You look hot.

• “A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse!” = Step out of the car, please.

• “Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.” = Something ain’t right up in this bitch.

• “If music be the food of love, play on.” = Crank it up!

• “Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look, he thinks too much; such men are dangerous.” = That bitch Cassius be crazy!

• “O happy dagger! This is thy sheath; there rust, and let me die.” = Today really sucks.

• “Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio.” = Noooooooooooo!

• “Frailty, thy name is woman!” = Bitches, Man. Bitches.

• “A plague a’ both your houses!” = Screw all y’all!

• “Cowards die many times before their deaths, the valiant never taste of death but once.” = Don’t be such a little bitch, bitch.

• “Et tu, Brute?” = Dick move, Brutus.

• “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” = Shit is deep, Bro.









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