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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Not participating in life and the things you do well is not acceptable. Emotional issues and contracts may cloud your vision, but once you get past life’s little setbacks, you will realize all the ways there are to fill any void in your life.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Someone you are involved with contractually or with whom you are working cannot be relied on or trusted. Pull in the people you know can help you, and you will save the day and impress someone important.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Do something totally out of the ordinary. You can please and appease the people you have to deal with and make headway with a partnership. Keep your emotions intact and avoid saying something you may regret later.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): A power play may be the only way to resolve an important issue, but accept and move ahead with changes that you can do nothing about. Once you make the necessary alterations in your life, you can let the past go and feel much better about the future.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You got it happening, so don’t delay. Before you know it, you’ll be taking on a challenge that will stimulate you, motivate you, and get you running at twice the speed. A little emotional activity will do your heart good.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You can renovate, redecorate, or even make a move from one location to another with great success. Don’t rely on someone you work with to give you a fair deal or to back you in a time of crisis. Fend for yourself.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You are in a star position and can wiggle your way in and out of anything you choose. Use your intelligence to captivate someone’s attention, and you will have everyone eating out of your hand. A passionate encounter may take you by surprise.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don’t let cheapness hold you hostage. You have to spend money to make money, so bite the bullet and believe in what you are trying to produce. Don’t let your emotions interfere with important changes.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Someone who has ulterior motives will tempt you. Before you take the bait, consider the consequences. The price may be too high and the loss too great. An unpredictable situation will develop.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Someone you care for will not see things your way. Before you rule out any possibilities, check your own assets and see if you can fit offers into your current projects. It may turn into a win-win situation.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You’ll have an opportunity to get ahead or change the way you earn your living. Someone you deal with will have a greater interest in you than you realize. Open your eyes; opportunity awaits you.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Anything you are uncertain about should be put on the back burner. You have enough to contend with for now, and if you don’t take care of pending business, you will end up at a loss. Follow your heart, your dreams, and your ambition.





The first 500 Ledges, a statistical breakdown

by Andrew Juhl

• Jokes written: 5,937.

• Different jokes written: 14.

• Ratio of times I’ve made of fun myself (978) / times I’ve made fun of any other real person, living or dead (342) = 2.86:1

• Ratio of fan mail received (653) to hate mail received (49) = 13.33:1.

• Ratio of Ledges derived from fan mail (1) to Ledges derived from hate mail (8) = 1:8.

• Number of week-long arcs I’ve completed since writing the Ledge: 8.

• Number of week-long benders I’ve been on since writing the Ledge: 22.

• Girls who’ve started dating me expressly because of the Ledge: 7.

• Girls who’ve broken-up with me expressly because I’ve made jokes about our relationship in the Ledge: 7.

• Probability that I will stop making jokes about my relationships in the Ledge: 0%

• Cultural references: movies = 536; music = 301; comic books = 214; literature = 151; television = 142; video games = 68.

• Accuracy with which the above numbers correctly predict how I spend my free time = 99.5%

• Times I’ve been comped a drink downtown because the bartender thought I was funny: ~20.

• Times I’ve been thrown out of a downtown bar because the bartender didn’t think I was funny: 2.

• Number of downtown bartenders with their head up their ass: 2.

• Ledges still inside me: Who knows?

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