|
New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): When it comes to making money or formulating deals, you have to tell it like it is and let everyone know what you want and need to proceed. Positive results will come from taking proper control.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): It’s your life, and you must be willing to be responsible for the results. Deception is being used in emotional ways to persuade you to make unhealthy decisions that will benefit others but not you.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You can play the game as well as anyone, so why are you letting your emotions get the better of you? Call someone’s bluff, and stop her or him from taking over. You can make the changes necessary for reforms and a better life.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Someone you love may be acting childish. Don’t get involved in idle chatter or gossip that can only cause you problems in the future. Concentrate on getting ahead and doing things your way.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Look for a way to promote your plans. Your ability to communicate your ideas and incorporate what others are doing into your own goals will help you build a strong future. Love is in the stars, so combine business with pleasure.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A fast talker may try to persuade you to spend on something you shouldn’t. Don’t get angry — just play it smart, and say no. Put your time, effort, and hard work into your home and family.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You can form a good partnership that will enable you to reach your goals faster. Your creative ideas, coupled with the drive your partner has, will make you successful. Love is looking favorable, and communication will bring results.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Change may be necessary, but don’t let it be costly. If someone wants too much, say no. Put your energy to work for you, and develop what you need to help you produce the most and the best you can.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You have to look at your personal life and make the right adjustments to achieve happiness. If someone is playing games with you or bringing you down, address the situation instead of running away or ignoring what’s going on. Show your true worth.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You will find it easy to get along with acquaintances, but those you are close to will not be as accommodating. Focus on expanding your circle of friends, and you will recognize what true friendship means. It’s time for change, but only you can make it happen.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Emotional matters may escalate if you haven’t got a good understanding of the facts involved. Travel and communication will fall short of your expectations. Sit tight until you have a better handle on your situation.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Jumping from one thing to another will unnerve the competition and keep you in the game. You have to be able to keep a secret. Someone may play you for a fool if you believe he or she is really truly on your side.

 

 

 

 


A few more things I learned from a lifetime of watching movies:

by Andrew Juhl


• When people are released from handcuffs, the very first thing they will do is rub their wrists and wince. The presence of fire, explosions, or numerous approaching thugs will not deter them from performing this task; it is a biological imperative.

• There are no window screens.

• All helicopters, speedboats, and alien spacecraft have “whisper modes” allowing them to come within spitting distance of unsuspecting victims before being noticed.

• Attractive women spend approximately 25 percent of their waking hours in the shower or taking bubble baths.

• If female friends are separated for any amount of time longer than a week, they will shriek with joy the next time they see each other.

• Women who repeatedly escape the clutches of a maniacal killer throughout the events of one movie can be quickly and easily slain by that same killer at the beginning of the next. (This is the only reason maniacal killers relent and allow themselves to be overtaken; it’s an investment in their future.)

• Thin, metal railings save more lives than head-to-toe SWAT-grade body armor.

• Being kicked in the chest by a horse will cause no lasting physical damage to a person.

• Large snakes, on average, need to feed once every couple of weeks to remain alive; if they overeat, they get weighed down and become a target for competing predators, therefore they rarely — if ever — gorge themselves. Killer snakes, however, have shed this behavior like so many layers of skin.









Daily Iowan Advertising
Today's Display Ads | Today's Classifieds | Advertising Info




Sponsored Links  
   
T-Shirt Design  
Insurance Leads Charlotte Web Design
Health Insurance Leads Home Equity Loans
Home Service Guides  
Life Insurance DMI Furniture
Custom Magnets Buy a text ad




 
Privacy Policy (8/15/07) | Terms of Use (4/28/08) | Content Submission Agreement (8/23/07) | Copyright Compliance Policy (8/25/07) | RSS Terms of Use

Copyright © The Daily Iowan, All Rights Reserved.