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ARIES (March 21-April 19): An invitation to join a group or organization you believe in will help you discover your true calling. You have lots to offer, and you will be able to move into a leadership position if you step up and show your skills.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taking on too much will give the impression that you are not capable of large-scale tasks. Gauge your time and remain patient if you want to come across as being professional. Don’t let someone else’s uncertainty unnerve you.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Use your talents to make reforms. By showing where you stand on issues, you can take a position of leadership, allowing you greater focus. Taking on a new project may seem daunting, but once you get started, it will be easy for you to follow through.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Be careful not to give out too much information. Someone will take advantage of you and twist your words in order to undermine what you are trying to accomplish. Stay alert, and do not give in to bribes or questionable behavior.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Rediscover some of the goals you set a long time ago. You have a lot to share as well as learn, and a whole new attitude regarding your philosophy of life will develop. It’s time to make a life adjustment.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don’t let anyone push you into an uncomfortable financial situation. Be careful when it comes to money and handouts. Children, friends, lovers, and even older relatives can cost you if you don’t use a firm hand and offer suggestions instead of cash.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You can drum up some excitement and get everyone on your team with a little enthusiastic talk and a few examples of what you plan to do. Love is looking very hot, and socializing can result in an encounter that you won’t want to miss.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don’t believe everything you hear. You will have to be careful not to give in to emotional rants at home or someone who is trying to get you to take on her or his responsibilities. Focus on what’s important to you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Some changes at home will add comfort and emotional well-being. Do not let someone take over or make changes you don’t like. Be creative in the way you deal with others if you want to avoid arguments.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Keep a lid on whatever you feel like saying. You are likely to strike a disruptive chord if you are too vocal or pushy. Do what you need to do quietly to avoid being criticized. A love relationship may be on shaky ground.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You can make some interesting professional changes that will turn your cash flow into a positive. Put on the pressure in order to get the deal you want. With a little finagling, an old goal can be achieved.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You’ll be in the mood to get things done, so put in overtime. Don’t let anyone push you around or get in the way of achieving your goals. Move forward with clarity and forcefulness.

 

 

 

 


PROs and CONs of my recent abstention from alcohol:

by Andrew Juhl


• PRO: Usually I get free soda at bars because the bartenders assume I’m responsible.

• CON: Red Bull tastes disgusting when not mixed with vodka or Jäger.

• PRO: Having people congratulate me on my recent strong moral decision.

• CON: Having the same people assume that I must’ve been an alcoholic beforehand.

• PRO: I can leave a party and drive home whenever I want to.

• CON: Now, I usually have to drop off three drunken friends along the way.

• PRO: I have way more money now.

• CON: Not getting to flirt with the wait staff because they know I’m not drinking (i.e., not tipping).

• PRO: All of the wines in my basement are increasing in value.

• CON: All of the Scotches on my counter are increasing in temptation.

• PRO: I’m much more efficient at picking up women, as my wit is actually wit now.

• CON: When we were both drunk, it was OK. When only she’s drunk, it’s kind of skeevy.

• PRO: Finally having a good answer for “What did you give up for Lent?”

• CON: Sunday Mass sucks without my thermos of Irish coffee.

• PRO: Now, I actually know where all my bruises come from.

• CON: Now, it actually hurts when I make them.

• PRO: The very small chance of me doing something embarrassing, only to have it caught on camera and posted online.

• CON: The very small chance of me doing something embarrassing, only to have it caught on camera and posted online.









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