New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don’t let a conversation with someone upset you or cause you to be defensive. Problems with work and someone you have to deal with are likely to develop. Listen, but don’t retaliate.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don’t question a decision once you’ve made it. A change of location or position is likely. Someone else’s problem may be dropped in your lap. Be professional, and deal with it promptly.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Someone will lend you a hand. There is much to gain from interacting with other people. Your strong beliefs and determination to help and make reforms will bring you recognition.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don’t wait for things to unfold in front of you. Change is good. Someone you love may not like your method of getting what you want, but he or she doesn’t understand what you are up against or are trying to accomplish.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Whether you are taking a trip, engaging in a new relationship, or getting involved in a new business or financial venture, excess is apparent. Before you decide to jump in with both feet, make sure that whatever you agree to is something you can handle long-term.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You have to be smart and ahead of everyone else in these times of economic and emotional strife. The better prepared you are, the better you will do. A very interesting and unusual deal will be on the table, involving both your personal and professional future.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You can bet someone will try to derail you emotionally regarding your future plans and prospects. Before that happens, jump in, and take what you want. Now is not the time to waffle or procrastinate. Love is on the line, and change is upon you.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You cannot take the chance of letting someone steal your thunder when you are so close to achieving your longtime goals. Don’t trust anyone making noise about helping out. Actions will be what count.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The unfamiliar is your enemy right now, so stick to your own strategy. Problems with authority figures or rules and regulations will develop if you haven’t done your homework. Be prepared to backtrack if you must.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don’t let a love issue or problems with children or relatives bog you down and cause you to miss out on something of value. Balance your personal and professional life. A change in the way you do things will help improve your financial situation.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Socializing or getting involved in something that interests you will lead to intimacy with someone who shares your beliefs. A creative outlet will develop into something that will help you expand your friendships.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Make some adjustments at home to help you feel more comfortable and less stressed. Implement products or services that will make your life easier and your chores lighter. Open your doors, and entertain friends or family.





100 Shots of Beer in 100 Minutes:

by Andrew Juhl

• Shot 60: Boy, I need to pee.

• Shot 61: Thankfully, I came prepared; I brought my penis.

• Shot 62: Just took my first piss break, and I needed to take the shot while peeing. I think needing to drink alcohol as I’m peeing means I’ve finally crossed the threshold from normal and into either really pathetic or really awesome.

• Shot 63: Actually it only means I’m pathetic … but I liked the semantic ambiguity of that last sentence.

• Shot 64: Wow. I was happy when I first started this, but this recent train of thought is really depressing me.

• Shot 65: Maybe I am pathetic, a loser, a waste of (column) space. Sure I say I’m doing this little experiment in order to generate material, but — in all truth — maybe I’m simply an alcoholic.

• Shot 66: Like my parents were.

• Shot 67: Before they both died of cirrhosis, that is.

• Shot 68: Maybe I should just cease my irresponsible drinking and grow the hell up. This experience is making me unfathomably sad; I’m not sure if I’ll ever laugh again.

• Shot 69: Heh heheh-heheh he-hee. "69."

• Shot 70: Haha ha-HA-hah HA-HA-HA!

• Shot 71: Guffaw, hahaha, har-har!

• Shot 72: Heheh-heheh. "69."

• Shot 73: Well that was nice, but now I’m sad again.

• Shot 74: Good lord, I’m starting to sound like a Nickelback song.

• Shot 75: Ewww, now I kind of want to listen to Nickelback.

• Shot 76: Thank goodness my parents aren’t around to see what I’ve become: a fan of crappy Canadian faux-rock.

• Shot 77: Again, I’m seriously considering ending this experiment. Liver problems and soul-crushing depression I can deal with; Nickelback I my iPod I cannot.

• Shot 78: I miss my ex.

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