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New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Consider what you want to accomplish in terms of your relationships, comfort, and status. You can make some decisions based on the encounters you have with people from different backgrounds. Get involved in a humanitarian cause.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Surprise others with your choices. You have to stay one step ahead of everyone else and not give in or give up because of the competition. Take on a challenge, and show your strength of character and courage.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Everything will be out in the open and easy for you to see. Don’t get emotional when there is so much you can accomplish if you are focused on what you want. Added responsibilities for younger or older relatives or friends can be expected.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The time to look for a new job or to get involved in a project that is different and captures your interest is now. Don’t give up what you’ve already got until you know you have something to go to. Change is apparent, but stay in control.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Gatherings, travel, or even a convention will lead to some interesting contacts. Don’t be surprised if someone from your past plays a role in a decision you have to make regarding love, contracts, or a partnership. Expand your horizons.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don’t give in to a sob story, threats, or ultimatums. Stand your ground, and show you aren’t a pushover. You can make headway with the people you have to deal with. Serious talks will bring about change.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Everything is there for you to excel, make improvements, or enjoy your life — just make the effort. An encounter with someone you care for will lead to life-changing plans. Dealing with children will be a positive learning experience.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don’t be fooled by a fast talker or someone who wants too much from you. Self-deception will be your enemy, so be sure to rule out any misconception you may have about the possibilities of what you are trying to accomplish.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You need to make some changes regarding your earning potential and the way you are doing things. Pick up a new skill, or try something altogether different. Someone who cares for you will encourage you to move in the direction best for you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You don’t have to be aggressive to get what you want. Don’t let a personal relationship you have with someone interfere with what you need to do to get ahead. Children will be a source of inspiration.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Experience can be gathered by getting involved in something different or signing up for a course that interests you. Most of all, do things that are different from your normal routine. The interaction you have with others will spark your imagination.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Keep your emotions well-hidden. Observing others will help you make the right choices. Someone you respect will open your eyes to the reality you are facing regarding your current relationship with someone from your past.

 

 

 

 


100 Shots of Beer in 100 Minutes:

by Andrew Juhl


• Shot 1: Hrm. It appears as though a standard shot glass holds 1.5 ounces. At that volume and this rate, considering my weight and sex, my precalculated BAC after 100 shots in 100 minutes will be .226, which is inebriated enough to cause stupor andsignificant motor impairment, but not enough to cause loss of consciousness, blackouts, or death. Thank goodness nobody will write me letters about how dangerous or irresponsible this humor column was.

• Shot 2: Is it odd that seeingthe 98 remaining shot glassesdoesn’t daunt me, it justmakes me thirsty?

• Shot 3: Also, where the helldid I get this many shot glasses?

• Shot 4: As a precaution, Ishould probably turn off myphone now.

• Shot 5: And throw it againstthe pavement.

• Shot 6: And stomp on it afew times. Yep. There we go. Ifeel safer now.

• Shot 7: Oh crap, what if Ineed to call an ambulance?

• Shot 8: Not feeling anythingyet, other than serious regretover my choice of Miller Litefor this experiment.

• Shot 9: I have begun turningthe spent glasses over andbuilding a pyramid à laMarion Ravenwood in Raidersof the Lost Ark, proving that —even while trying to do somethingbadass or cool — I cannothelp but be a little nerdyabout it.

• Shot 10: I’m sucking in a lotof air with these shots ofalready-carbonated beer, Iwonder if this will produceany side effects?

• Shot 11: Buuuuuuuuuuurp.

• Shot 12: The equivalent of 1.5quick bottles of beer in, and I’mstarting to feel a little tipsy. Or,as my dad would call it, “Thatready-to-go-to-work feeling.”

• Shot 13: Maybe I shouldwrite all this down and turn itinto a Ledge — instead of justa fun way to spend a Sundayafternoon. Yeah, I think I’ll dothat.









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