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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Keep searching for the right group or person who actually gets what you are trying to accomplish. Otherwise, go it alone. Reunite with someone who has meant a lot to you in the past. Good things will result if you talk openly.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Empty promises can lead to a bad decision. Make sure that you have something concrete to work with before you get started. Emotional connections with someone you have a give-and-take relationship with can be relied on to help you out now.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Someone may try to pull a fast maneuver on you. Love is in the picture, and something will develop rapidly between you and a very special individual. Past and present will cross paths.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): A change at work or within your professional field will benefit you long-term. Serious aggressive action will pay off. Avoid anyone involved in an unusual lifestyle that might influence your current status or financial position.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Take the steps required to turn an old or new relationship into something special. Love and romance are in the stars. Focus on both business and personal partnerships.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Love and money will somehow come together for you today. Expect help financially, legally, or where a settlement is due. Emotional issues can help you realize how you feel about some of the people in your life.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Renewed feelings for someone will set you on an interesting route, influencing your lifestyle. Share your feelings, and the response you get will ensure that you are doing the right thing. Honesty has never been more important.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Sticking around the old will not lead you to a brighter future. You’ve been in a rut for too long. It’s time to live, love, and be happy. Rid yourself of what is working against you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You have some great ideas that can turn into cash as long as you don’t go overboard. Someone will question your plans, and if you take the criticism seriously, you will be further ahead in the end. Love is in the stars.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Things may be swinging a little too far out of control for your liking. Don’t fear change. Instead, protect your assets and see where things go. Make your choices wisely, but listen and observe what everyone else is doing.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Everything is looking up, and the options being made available to you should not be ignored. Expressing your thoughts and ideas will attract the attention of someone who can offer you suggestions and contribute to what you want to do.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don’t let others confuse you with innuendoes or the signals being sent. Question the motives. It’s being aware that will help you hold your ground and get what you want. Indecisive partners should be eliminated from your plans.

19 common expressions, recessionized:

by Andrew Juhl


- An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but you should probably worry more about rickets and scurvy.

- To make an omelet, first you’ve got to steal a few eggs.

- The meek shall inherit the debt.

- See a penny, pick it up, and all the day guard your life with wary unease.

- All work and no play make Jack barely get by.

- The squeaky wheel gets ignored because *grease doesn’t grow on trees*, you know.

- A friend in need is practically everyone you know right now.

- Ask not for whom the bell tolls. Instead, ask what kind of metal the bell is made from and what that’ll get you at the scrap yard.

- A bird in the hand is worth two pair of pants at the flea market.

- Why buy the cow when you can’t afford milk?

- The best things in life are over.

- It’s better to light a single candle than to spend any money on electricity.

- A lender be. *Please*.

- It takes a thief to catch a break.

- There’s more than one way to braise a cat.

- Cry over spilled milk.

- All that glitters is not … gold? DID SOMEONE SAY GOLD?!

- Beggars can’t be choosers.










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