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New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Leave your feelings out of any decision you have to make, especially if it concerns people you’ve known a long time. Don’t bend when it comes to your code of ethics or standards. Be brave.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You’ll be torn in different directions. Listen to reason, and avoid big talkers who are looking out for their interests, not yours. A love affair will not turn out as planned.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You can come out on top if you do your homework and question someone who is pushy or giving you ultimatums. Take control by using your Gemini finesse and knowledge.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Take better care of your assets, your future, and your health. Say no if someone tries to put demands on you. An older, experienced individual will be your guiding light. Listen to the advice being given, and you will see your way to victory.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You’ll have to weed through the conversations, promises, and intentions that everyone around you has before you can consider what action to take. Not everyone will be upfront and honest. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You can build a strong home base and network system if you are consistent in the way you do things. Someone may use emotional blackmail. Discipline will bring you success, and patience will help you stay on top.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You won’t want to listen to reason. With everyone looking up to you and so many opportunities to choose from, you aren’t likely to consider what someone who has always been there for you has to contribute. Analyze your motives.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Be careful of anyone who is trying to meddle in your affairs. Do not give out information you don’t want spread around. You have to be leery of someone you have dealt with in the past who wants to partner up with you now. Don’t be afraid to be pushy.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Mix business with pleasure, and you’ll not only get ahead, you will develop an interest in someone who can complement your every move. Use your ingenuity to come up with unique ideas. A service that lessens the workload, adds comfort or eases stress will be a winner.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Money will change hands and deals will close if you are willing to compromise. A last-minute change of plans may surprise you, but it will be to your advantage. Rethink any relationship that tends to be negative or holds you back.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Get involved in projects that interest you, and you will meet someone special. The more you interact with others, the better your chance of finding a pastime or job that will lead to a brighter future. Help is but a heartbeat away if you ask.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Someone may make last-minute changes that you aren’t aware of. Before signing or promising anything to anyone, check the fine print. Emotional deception is apparent not only from others but also within yourself.

17 Possible New Marketing Slogans for the Ledge:

by Andrew Juhl


- The Ledge: Assembled in the USA by jokes written in China.

- The Ledge: Now available without a prescription.

- The Ledge: Because laughter is the best medicine. For herpes. Besides Valtrex, of course.

- The Ledge: DRM free.

- The Ledge: Moderately funny humor for moderately intelligent undergrads.

- The Ledge: Not as good as Joss Whedon’s *Dollhouse*, but it’ll still be here in a month.

- The Ledge: Soon to be a major motion picture.

- The Ledge: Where “too soon?” can never come too quickly.

- The Ledge: Starkly snarky.

- The Ledge: Tested on animals — but only ugly ones.

- The Ledge: It would read *you* if you were a humor column.

- The Ledge: It will eat your children if given the chance.

- The Ledge: You can’t fall off it, but you can fall in love with it.

- The Ledge: The only column written in Scratch ’n’ Sniff ink.

- The Ledge: It’s on the back so the other pages won’t stick together.

- The Ledge: We are in possession of your entire stock of bases.

- The Ledge: Way to cool for self-referential humor.










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